Author: Lisa Khadaran
One of the main topics that the pieces of text that we've studied this semester have struck in me is that of love and passion. Now, what is love and passion? It can range from a series of emotions, and it makes me almost smile at how much of a roller coaster we in modern day compare it too. Perhaps it is. Love and passion are a series of ups and downs, winning and losing, and loneliness and camaraderie.
Even though I just came back from talking to a group of friends, where I felt happy to be around them, I now feel sad. Staring at my computer and wondering what to type. How many of the authors that we've studied experienced this feeling, even if to a lesser degree? Love? If it happens it happens. One of the very essences of mujou. To examine this concept of what it means to have this type of "feeling", I want to first look at Chomei's story, "The Account of the Ten Foot Hut," and then "Essays of Idleness," by Kenko, because I feel the collection exemplifies strong emotions, not just love and passion, of the human condition. Some bits of Waka poetry will round everything together then. It's not just love and passion I want to focus on, but human emotion.
I think the most striking bit in "the Account of the Ten Foot Hut" is when Chomei writes that of the pathetic sights that he has had to seen, they are when those that have more love in the relationship, those people die first. Chomei mentions that he knows that people are born and die, that he doesn't know where they are coming or going from. However, Chomei, in his little hut is all by himself, and I think it's interesting to compare these bits from "An Account of the Ten Foot Hut" to "Essays in Idleness," because Kenko "both lived in seclusion continued to mingle with the most powerful figure of the time."
Kenko is more inclined to write about his life and the moment, while Chomei writes about flashes of his life in reflection. However, in Beautiful Hair of All Things, Kenko says that "she will not hesitate to subject herself to hardships, and will normally endure cheerfully what she would normally find intolerable, all because love means so much to her." Of course, as I type this, I have Ke$ha's Your Love is My Drug on repeat. In comparison between Chomei's and Kenko's works, it's pathetic, in the case of Chomei, to die from loving your mate too much to take food for yourself, while for Kenko, he argues that love is a deep-seated passion between men and woman. And Ke$ha – "The rush is worth the price I pay." Kenko says that of all the other senses, infatuation should be what is avoided, and is delusional, because all other senses are can at least be controlled. Chomei would argue that the scenes of mates dying is pathetic because they should be able to control that desire, and Kenko would argue that because love is deep-seated passion, it is impossible to control the actions of what you would do in association with it, even if it means dying – that it is worth being in love, enough to endure anything as long as love could be maintained.
Kenko is able to tolerate being alone, and understanding the merits of isolation, but is also able to understand the gathering of people. In Alone Before a Lamplight, even though you are alone while reading, you are still able to read about people, and become friends with them. I think this is interesting, because we normally don't consider that those that that would prefer reading by themselves as social butterflies. But, perhaps they are, according to Kenko. As I type this, there's a girl sitting across from me reading and trying to get work done. I wonder if she's sad too that she's left friends to isolate herself in the library. I mean, I'm sad too, because I'm typing this, but Kenko would argue that we are making friends with the people of the past in our readings.
So, now, in some roundabout way have said that Kenko, Chomei, and me are the bestest of friends…biffles, if you would, I'm going to continue to look at some more of Kenko's "Essays in Idleness."In all sense of mujou, Kenko's theme in his essays are if you die, you die. You'll die eventually, so don't spend time fretting about dying, because it won't stop you from dying, but will stop you from living. Also, the same thought is applied to the gaining of wealth: Kenko sums it quite nicely at the end of To Be Governed by a Desire for Fame and Profit, that "nothing is worth discussing is worth desiring."
…Actually, if I apply that to my own situation, does that mean that because I have a slightly obsessive kick right now to say goodbye to everyone before the semester ends, that it isn't worth desiring going out with friends because I can't keep my mouth shut about it? Well…perhaps I've been a bit whiny, but perhaps it is understandable. If I keep talking about going out with friends, I am postponing actually getting work done. If I am able to hang out with friends, I'll hang out with friends. If I'm not able, I'm not able. It's all very mujou. Like with death, my best friend, Kenko would argue that because I am going to hang out with friends eventually, and by fretting about it isn't going to hurry the situation any further, but is going to take away from the time I'll have to finish my paper.
The ideal situation then of all people would to be alone, and in A Person Who Complains of Having Nothing to Do, Kenko says that those that have nothing to do are probably the happiest out of all people. They don't have to torment their minds with whatever others think of them. This is where Kenko and Chomei complement each other: Chomei says that a man will drive himself into personal torment, a low ranked man next to a wealthy man, because he will always wonder what his wife thinks of the family, see her enviousness, and the disdain the rich family holds for him. Kenko would say that if that same man were to remove himself from personal ties (dumps his wife) and lives a quiet life while removing himself from worldly ties (no envy for the wealthy man then), then that same man would be happy, or at least content.
With that thought, how about Not Waiting Until You Are Old? The little anecdote is summarized quite neatly in the first sentence, "You must not wait until you are old before you begin practicing the way. Most of the gravestones of the past belong to men who died young."
I like the way Kenko thinks about death: no matter what, we put off things because we always think that we'll have more time to do it later. Like in Determined to Take the Great Step, Kenko says that you should just forget to try and resolve any unresolved business, and I think he means it is better to do things as they come. Not Waiting Until Your Are Old continues then, Kenko says most gravestones belong to young men. This makes me think: were they actually young, as in physically young, men? Or were they young because they never began practicing the way? There is much regret when you die of all the things that you should've done before, and of the things you've already done, so it is better to just do it, because if it's already done, then what will feeling regret do for you? You can spend time before you die feeling regret, or you can spend time actually getting things done, is how Kenko would see it. I wonder how he would feel about Bucket Lists then. Presumably, even though those that have them rush to complete them before death, those that don't have to spend time regretting the remaining things on the list because of the writer's impairment in getting the list completed.
Now, looking at what other valuable bits of word gold Kenko has given us, can I say...nothing worth writing is worth doing? A parallel to, "nothing worth discussing is worth desiring." When people air out their desires, then, in bucket lists, Kenko would say that because it is a list, then what's the point? By making a list, you are defining your life, when it is better to live spontaneously – it is better to just live. Writing a bucket list is like men that just sit there waiting to die; they're waiting for the inevitable. In About a Priest at Ninna Temple, instead of losing his life, the priest is content with losing his nose and ears. Even though the priest was ill after they managed to remove the pot, he was still alive, something that Kenko focuses on. Kenko says in Determined to Rake the Great Step: "is a man's life any more likely to wait for him?" Overall, I think Kenko's "Essays of Idleness" show a great connection to the ultimate end (death) in relating to the human condition. Kenko's overall attitude is to just live. "What joy can there be while waiting for the end?" (Gathering Like Ants) Don't ultimately isolate yourself, but be able to step away from the personal, because even if all the people in the world were to die today, except for you, you wouldn't have long to wait to join them (Are We to Look at Cherry Blossoms Only in Full Bloom?).
I think Kenko's essays are a good indicator of not only the condition of people in the past, but in the present as well. To conclude with Waka poetry, there is a lot of regret in the majority of the pieces we read for class, especially in the "Tosa Diary." The female narrative is fictional, which I think is interesting especially because the reason the book writes is because the expressions of grief and loss wouldn't be cool in a man's diary. I'm not going to touch this with a gendered reading of the piece, but I think, knowing that a man wrote this and not actually a woman, that it adds more meaning behind the poems as responses to social situations.
Actually, the poems remind me of Instant Messenger services. No matter the situation, when you get an instant message, you always find yourself replying. Even if the reply doesn't come out instantly, you know you have to give one eventually. Of course, there are also certain people to whom you talk to where replying is much easier. When the man came to deliver lunch boxes, he thinks forever on a poem for the occasion and the narrator says that they "made a show of being impressed," yet no one wanted to make a responding poem, the equivalent of putting up the I AM AWAY message on your Instant Messenger, even if you aren't and you're actually checking your facebook.
The narrator touches on death too, and as one of the parents on board had lost a child previously, several poems are composed of the reaction. Where the narrator and in the piece, the deaths are lingered over, Kenko would probably say that is just like you worrying about your own death – those that have died, have died. After a Person's Death in "Essays on Idleness," however, it is okay to mourn a person, but it is not okay to act as if the person is still here. Even remembering a person still has its faults – while through remembrance, the person's memory is preserved, but just like the person, that will die as well. Suffice to say, the overall lesson here is that everything dies. And that is where I will end – human emotion begets the human condition, which is ultimately ended in death; we see reflections in the past in today's society, and as time goes on, the reflections of the past will eventually die out because society keeps changing. Mujou.
